Category: Let's talk
Isn't it interesting what mistakes we all make with language, and with absurd results? The thing is, for ordinary folk like you and me, we can forget about these gaffs, but for public figures they are destined to return at inopportune moments to haunt them for the resst of their days. Who would ever forget the brainless Conservative politician claiming, in 1991, that "It's the wrrong type of snow"? Anyway here are three of my favourites which I reckon even the best comedy script-writer couldn't come up with:
1. David beckham in 2000 said: "Yes we intend to christen Brooklyn, but we're not sure what religion that will be into yet."
2. Henry Blowfelt, esteemed cricket commentator in August 2004, said during one of his commentaries: "And of course this ground is very close to the train station, so as I describe the cricket I can hear the vibrations of the trains going over the rails in my ears." sTrange route for the trains to take!
3. Most recent, this is another classic: footballer Craig Bellamy, when asked about a dispute he is currently involved in with his team manager, graham Sooness, said: "He jusst went behind my back right in front of my face."
Sometimes, they are just too good to make up, aren't they?
"Brilliant". I need to go and dig up a collection of our most esteemed and promising comedian, mr George Bush some of this phrases have been fantastic, as well as some of Rumsfeld's phrases, I've seen at lesat 3 absolutely hillarious ones, got to go and find them and post them here surely.
cheers
-B
I'm sure you could write a book with Bush's...he is very funny isn't he, he'll go far in the comedy business!
In my view one of Bush's greatest ones was "the majority of our imports come from abroad!"
Of course we cant forget Mr Formula 1 Murray Walker! his gaffs have become legendary..and I miss him badly .
"Do my eyes decieve me or is Senna's engine sounding rough"
"The car in front is exactly the same as the 2nd car except for the 1 behind which is identical.."
"Excuse me while I interrupt myself"
"Bernie its 5 years now since you bought Mclaren ..I dont remember buying Mclaren Murray"
"Now the boot's on the other Schumacher"
And who could forget perhaps the most famous commentary gaff of them all? The Oval, 1991, england v. West Indies, Ian Botham tries to save himself from being out by stepping over the wicket, but just fails to make it. The commentator said: "Yes, bit unfortunate for Botham that one. He just didn't quite get his leg over."
And for our american friends, one from Dan Quail which os often overlooked: "We have a firm commitment to Nato; we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe; we are a part of Europe.
And at the risk of making this a solo effort, another one I saw in the Tottenham and Hornsey Journal, advertising for a management position on Haringey Council. The advert at one point states: "Haringey council is home to over 250000 people." Is it? i never knew that! How do they all fit in the council chamber?
LOL!.Some people just should be allowed out without their carers...
shouldn't be allowed out ..damn this medication!
And yet another to be going on with, yes, another classic! Ainsley Harriet is a celebrity chef in Britain who presents various programmes teaching people how to cook. he's also black, and I say this because you need to know it to understand this one. In one of these programmes he was teaching a woman to make a sausage casserole or something of that sort, and the following dialogue took place.....Oh sorry the end of that's burnt a little I hope that won't put you off.....No, Ainsley, it's fine I like it like that......Oh that's good I like a girl who likes a bit of black sausage!
he's a one off is Ainsley thank feck.
More, more
Im still trying to locate this poem that a journalist made up solely of Bush quotes, it's one of the funniest poems I've read in a long time, I shall track it down and post it here or my name is not Bob
cheers
-B
(and ps it isn't Bob but I will find this regardless)
Ok Bob we look forward to it if bush's greatest achievement in this world is his contribution to furthering the careers of several hard up comedians..for that alone he should be ..forgotten.
Okay, here's today's quote, and it's courtesy of our friend Dan Quail once again: he began a speech to a delegation of employees of NASA in teh following way, "Ladies, Gentlemen, and my fellow astronauts".....How did he find the time to combine such demanding occupations?
he's clearly deluded no wonder 95% of the world are laughing at America..
Eh, Dan Quail was the tenth man on the moon wasn't he...?
First man on Mars maybe...and the other 5% are laughing at...?
Aah, here as promised is the Bush quote poem, and I am also posting a link to a page that sources the phrases used in the poem, to certify their authinticity
MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/piehigher.asp
Excellent excellent! That is superb! More to follow shortly.
Brilliant! LoL!.A pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity ????????.
Okay today's quote comes from a UK news bulletin reporting on the position of the British army in Northern Ireland. The newsreader said: "this morning a ministry of defence spokesman told us that if the weather does not change it will remain the same."
Pure genius I shall have to try and find a quote to add for tomorrow's those who care to do so should add a daily quote here, it would make this discussion updated and more amusing than most on here.
From the Daily telegraph yesterday, as a result of a misprint in an article about Margaret Thatcher by her daughter, Carroll. It read: "My mother, as prime minister, lived in and worked from 10 Downing Street for 111 years".
Wow, ms Thatcher really deserves some cudos for persisting for such a long time .. it's really incredible :) I shall dig up a quote for Monday.
there is one lot of quotes we are all forgetting and which i must find somehwere - those made by the iraqi information minister prior to the fall of Sadam Hussain - they were quote such as ... the streets are littered with the bodies of americans" and the like ...
True, but not quite in the spirit of the quotes we are looking for. WE must be vigilent in the enforcement of the rules. The idea of this topic is linguistic mistakes or complete gaffs. I would suggest that the quotes by the information minister were neither.
Although sugarbaby on second thoughts, they're still funny!
Here is one for u. I came across this quote of George Bush in a store in Florida. They sell only calendars there, and they had a quote for each month for George W bush. The quote says, "If we do not succeed, we risk failure." Now, that right there, is a very profound statement, wouldn't u say?
Excellent! Okay, one from the western Daily Press: the story was about a man who had been beaten and left for dead by a gang of youths and found a couple of hours later. The paper then went on to proclaim that, "Police are still hunting for the victim".
She must have had the 1 ring it explains everything...
the Glasgow Evening times last week.
"The majority of children in Glasgow are armed, by that I mean they are carrying offensive weapons, which are extremely dangerous".
Ahahahaha these are funny! it's amazing what can happen if you just get a little tongue tied. Hahaha.
And yet more! What is it about those involved with football? I have to share these latest ones with you: a few days ago, Ian Dowy, nanager of Crystal Palace Football Club, described his team as having great bouncebackability. Bouncebackability? well you won't find that in any dictionary my son! And yesterday, Arsen Wenger, the manager of Arsenal, joined in when he said, and I quote, "I think our team showed great character not only footballistically, but stylistically." Footballistically? come on lads get a grip!